Isaiah 41:13- For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand saying to thee be not afraid I am with thee.
That's the memory verse of a very special young man. The eldest son of friends, classmate of, and, friend to, my children and a young man whose light was as bright and hopeful, full of promise and life, as has ever burned. Zachary John Dievendorf was diagnosed on May 14 of 2008 with a brain stem glioma...more specifically Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma...DIPG.(Click the link to learn more) Zak fought hard. In fact he was an inspiration. Here he was...facing down this terrible disease...and finding time to care for those around him...to encourage them. Even as the affects of the treatments took their toll Zak always managed to find a way to smile and to use his incredible sense of humor to lift those around him. He finished his time here on December 26th of that same year. You see despite the excellent care given him and all the love and prayer there was not and still is no cure for DIPG. Zaks testimony through his words, his actions and his attitude, made a huge impact on many...including me. I felt compelled to do something. To "Kick some holes in the gates of cancer hell!" as Zaks family says but I didn't know what. God kept (and keeps) Zak on my mind throughout this past year.
The verse above is on the bulletin board in my home office on the card from his memorial service. I was not sure why I put it there at the time...but I guess God had a plan. I was really not happy with God after Zak went home. Like many people I was asking why? (I still am) I felt it was unjust. I kept hearing this small voice from somewhere inside me saying something like "Well then do something about it!" At first I thought it was my personal sense of fairness, then I thought it was my ego...as if I could do anything about it..."what could I do?"
More than a year passed and during that time there were many opportunities to think about Zak, happy memories, some sad but that anger was always close behind accompanied by that nagging feeling that something important was being left unattended. During the early part of 2010 in conjunction with my Extreme Lifestyle Makeover I began to run as a convenient form of exercise. I had no intentions of running for any purpose it was just a cost effective and practical way to get in shape. While flipping through a running magazine I was stopped cold by an ad for the 2010 Nautica South Beach Triathlon ...the event was being held in support of St. Judes Childrens Research Hospital.... the facility Zak and his family traveled to in their battle against DIPG. Seeing the St. Judes logo made me think of Zak and that made me smile and then pretty soon.... here was that anger at God......"Why Lord? Why?" ....... and I was waiting for that feeling that something was a miss........... but it never came.
Suddenly I felt very peaceful as if I had just gotten the idea for a solution to a problem that had been perplexing me. One of those You know what might work? moments..I saw myself swimming, biking and running...... with a purpose.....then reality snapped back into focus... "A triathlon? Seriously God? Me?" Ridiculous! And yet I found myself tearing the ad out and affixing it to the mirror next to my bed. I had barely even run 3mi. without taking a walk break and here I was considering a 1.5 km swim, 40 km ride, 10 km run. Time passed as I considered the sheer folly of my attempting a triathlon.... I looked at the mirror every morning and saw the ad, thought of Zak and the whole thing happened all over again. I decided to register to run in a "real" race and see how things went. Call it a feasability study. Things went well and I was encouraged to enter another race...even longer...twice as long..... 6 miles...10k...the last portion of an Olympic Distance Triathlon.
I did it...not well but I did it...non-stop 6 miles...never in my life would I have dreamed that possible but with work it had been achieved....I started to ride my bike.another test study...first 6miles, then 8 and then 11 miles to Beaver Lake, a 3 mile run, and then 11 miles home!
Then I got another "Zak Attack" as his family calls them when I was reading a running blog online and a picture of a runner from the Walt Disney World Marathon popped on to the screen. Being a Disney event people wear some weird stuff in that race and there was a young contestant maybe a little older than Zak would be, wearing an exact duplcate of Zaks furry red pimp hat, smiling and staring right into the camera. Looking it seemed right at me. Well I saw the hat...started thinking about Zak and......"A Marathon? You must be kidding Lord!" But I knew...He wasn't and now neither was I. A plan started to form ...a long range plan...a purpose for the running...maybe I could do something....
I decided to take the encouragement from Zaks Caring Bridge Journal to "Support any St. Jude fundraiser" to heart only I am not waiting for St. Judes to schedule events. I am going to run, and run and bike, and swim and every time I do I want it to be in support of St. Judes Childrens Research Hospital and in memory of Zak D.
I am asking you for your support. I am asking you to help to give the families and the children affected by this horrible disease reason to hope. I am asking you to help beat DIPG. Here are the four events that make up the 4 for Zak fundraiser
- Philadelphia Rock-n-Roll 1/2 Marathon September 19, 2010
- The St. Jude Memphis Marathon December 4, 2010
- The Nautica South Beach Traithlon April, 2011 (TBA)
- The Syracuse Ironman 70.3 September 20, 2011
Click on the link below to donate and then stop by often to see how training is going, to hear about new events and opportunities to support St. Judes. There will be plenty....of that I am certain. Give what you can...one time...or a regular monthly gift. All donations are made securely through St. Jude directly. You can ear mark dollars to go for DIPG by indicating that as your preference.
Running is a new activity for me. One that is difficult, and at times painful. It is a struggle for me but that struggle, that pain, pale in comparison to what Zak and other kids like him go through while battling DIPG. It is nothing when compared to the loss experienced by their friends and their families. I carry that thought with me as I prepare to face these challenges and I pray that someday I will run just to run because this disease has been defeated. When I see Zak I hope he will be as proud of what you and all who donate have done in his name as those of us who knew him were proud of him and the example he showed to us all ...an example of Faith, Hope and Love.
"Well done good and faithful Zak"
Well done indeed.
Well done indeed.
***On the way home right after finishing this page I heard this read by the author on the radio.......
Separation
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.
You never have to wonder "if" God talks to us. Sometimes it's the "how" that just blows me away! W.S. Merwin was just named Poet Laureate of the U.S. oh and for those "in the know" he is a Buddhist. Nice touch Zak!
